Take Back Control of Your Fate

In The Book of Joy, the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu poke fun at our tendency to create suffering for ourselves. "Why be unhappy about something if it can be remedied (you have power to change it)? "And what is the use of being unhappy if it cannot be remedied (it's not in your power to change)? When people and situations show up in life in ways we don't want or expect, we can forgive (the person or the situation) by accepting that we don't have control over what others think and do. The Dalai Lama also suggests taking a "larger perspective" by stepping back within our own mind to look at the bigger picture and move beyond our limited self-awareness and our self-interest. We can look at the p

"Only If" - Stop Deferring Your Happiness

In the book Shantaram, one of the characters defines suffering as "being hungry for anything." When we expect certain outcomes, our happiness depends on it and we are only happy if things go our way. Sometimes we find ourselves basing our happiness on future outcomes. For example we say "I will be happy when <xyz> happens." Many agree that this specified future accomplishment is a moving finish line and when that "thing" is attained, there will always be something else - some new milestone or possession - to defer our happiness against. We end up unsatisfied in the present moment as we await for the future. Another way we defer our happiness is through the "only if" conundrum where we base

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